That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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