My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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