Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
