How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
should my penis look like a turkey
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
