girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
