no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
