yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
