I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize