dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
