i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
this will be a night to untag.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
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