I hate all girls vehemently.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
When are your genitals available?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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