Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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