6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
