she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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