You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
