i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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