Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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