I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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