theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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