i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
