this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
