and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I look better un-naked...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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