if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
