Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night

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(217): View more from Illinois

dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.

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(434): View more from Virginia

She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere

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(416): View more from Toronto

DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS

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(404): View more from Georgia

Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.

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(607): View more from New York

Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend

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(402): View more from Nebraska

guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.

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