He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
