Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
