i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
