I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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