I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
