you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
