so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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