who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
