Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
