is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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