I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
tequila makes me forget i have legs
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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