Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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