I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
