Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
