sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
