My underwear smells like fireworks.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
