I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
