you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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