Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
