My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
