i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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