Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
