i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
