Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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