I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I need water and some morals
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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