She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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