The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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