so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
