I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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