Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
