i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
