if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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