i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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