Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
