when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
