The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
