Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
