Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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