So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
