Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
