The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
