My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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