For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
