i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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