he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
