I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
and you fell through a lawn chair
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
