he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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