Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
