Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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