I have demons in me.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
