Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
