chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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