carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
