She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
